The EA case for Jay and Dope 2024
It's time for a miracle
It has recently been argued that effective altruism can be used to make a case for voting for Donald Trump in 2024, though most EAs do not seem to agree with this. Here I will argue that this is false: EA actually says that you should vote for Insane Clown Posse musicians Violent Jay and Shaggy 2 Dope for president.1
This can be argued based on a few considerations, but first, we should address the visceral reaction you might have to the prospect of electing co-presidents who can only be described as “a pair of salty bards,” or “unruly jesters given to the sweet drink.” This may be true, but you can’t let this bias your reasoning. We should consider the long-term consequences that a Jay and Dope presidency would have on the world.
Science policy
Promoting scientific and technological advancement should be seen as an important priority for EAs. This type of innovation has compounding benefits that could make quadrillions of sentient beings better off in the future. Trump has a well-known disdain for science, including in areas that could have a large impact on the future, like climate change, and his administration would likely reduce the amount of federal funding for scientific innovation. Jay and Dope, on the other hand, have expressed scientific curiosity- they are well known for presenting theories and for their desire to investigate how magnets work. It stands to reason that they are better on science policy than Trump.
Now, one might object to this due to their other remarks about science, such as, “I don’t wanna talk to a scientist. Y’all motherfuckers lyin’, and gettin’ me pissed.” However, this actually indicates Jay and Dope’s desire not to interfere with the scientific process, and to let the scientists do their work without political pressure. Furthermore, even if this is an indication that they would have science-hostile policy, this doesn’t necessarily undercut the EA case for them. They may just want to stop funding unskilled scientists while increasing funds to skilled scientists. Even if those unskilled scientists are beneficial in the short run, they may degrade the cultural foundations of America’s innovative capacity in the long run. Thus, such a funding redirect would be a good thing for America and the world.
It should also be acknowledged that our current science funding system is broken. Jay and Dope’s remarks are likely a sober response to the corruption in our moribund academic institutions, and the changes they make could lead to a more efficient decentralized funding scheme in the future. By tearing down the current system, they will restore public trust in science, even if it also allows some woo-woo ideas about miracles to get funding. So even if their policy seems anti-science, voting for an anti-science politician could paradoxically be the best thing to do for pro-science policy.
Immigration and natalism
Jay and Dope have been able to bring people together quite effectively, in some cases holding gatherings with up to 107,500 attendees. In addition to fostering a strong national spirit, this suggests that they will likely take a more liberal approach to immigration. In fact, they will likely support global open borders due to its potential to bring all the juggalos of the world together. This should be very good news to EAs because of the strong EA case in favor of increased immigration.
Jay and Dope would likely also pursue pro-natalist policies to promote the miracle of life. This, together with their immigration policies, should assuage concerns about declining birth rates leading to a decline in population. It should also appeal to total utilitarians who believe in the good of creating more people.
Existential risk
Some have argued against Jay and Dope on the basis that they are just pawns of an alien empress who seeks to enslave humanity and will eventually cause our extinction. However, we should note that this was based on a prediction from 2012 from a source that also confirms the existence of a vast multiverse and the possibility of immortality. This source is generally believed to be fictional, but the probability that it is accurate, conditional on Jay and Dope winning in 2024, is substantially higher than the prior probability. Thus, a vote for Jay and Dope increases the probability that the source is reliable and that all the other things it mentions are true as well. Although the dire outlook for humanity is a very negative outcome, this is outweighed by the amount of happiness that would exist in the vast multiverse and the potential for immortality.
Aren’t they too unlikely?
A final objection might be that, even if we think Jay and Dope are the best option, we should vote strategically for one of the two major parties. In other words, voting for them is not an effective intervention because their chance of victory is so low. However, the probability of a Jay and Dope victory may be higher than you think. Manifold currently puts it at 1.7%. Although this is fairly small, EAs are used to making decisions about small-probability events with existential impacts. A 1.7% chance is larger than some other scenarios that EAs consider important, so this should be considered as well. Besides, humans have a bias to round small probabilities to 0. In reality, a 1.7% chance is not as low as it intuitively seems - events with smaller probabilities happen all the time.
In conclusion, voting for Jay and Dope is likely the most effective way to promote the overall good this November. Effective altruists should seriously consider it.2
You should vote for them both to be president simultaneously, not president and vice president.
Note: This article is not a serious criticism of EA (which I am in favor of). It’s just a parody of the EA case for Trump article.